You win this round Safeway

I must begin this post by noting my Safeway story is no where near as good as Dave Chappelle's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivUzfuuJNQI&feature=player_detailpage#t=30s

Ok, back to me.

For those of you don't know, I used to live less than a block from a Giant Grocery store. It was awesome. I was that guy that never had anything in the fridge. I could go over when I felt like eating. In short, it was my personal refrigerator. This was until this past May when the store was closed to make way for Cathedral Commons. I'm not sure all the cause/effect logic used, but since this Giant was from the 50's they couldn't have fresh produce. The only was to fix this was to close the current store for 2 years and put 5 stories of condos on top of it. I must say though, when it's done it should be awesome. Did I mention construction hasn't started?

My situation isn't horrible now. Luckily, there is a Safeway relatively close, down the street from me. It's not to far, but It's down a huge hill so when ever I have to go on a hot night like tonight, I just figure on getting sweaty on my bike. Not nearly as convenient as before. Oh! What a man must do for food!

Anyway, I was low on normal people food. My nomad lifestyle wouldn't cut it. My gf was gonna come over so cereal for dinner wouldn't fly. I decided I would ride my bike down the hill to Safeway and stock up on groceries and catch the bus back home. It started as an epic shopping trip. I got juices, chips, 3 frozen pizzas, various fruits, ground beef, sugar (I swear thieves break in to use my sugar and toilet paper. That's my only justification for how it runs out so quickly), etc. I walked around like I knew what I was doing. I know everyone was jealous of me. "Look at that guy! He's so cool. What an epic grocery store trip!"

So I get to the register, and I realize I forgot my wallet. I had everything else. Phone, keys, ipod, umbrella (wtf?), glasses (cause you know that contact lenses might just fly out of my eyes). No wallet.

Shit.

One of the most embarrassing moments I've had in awhile. What made it worse that the store is usually open 24 hours, but was closing early tonight for water pipe maintenance, so I couldn't ride home to get my wallet and then pay. I had to take all of my stuff off the conveyor belt and put it back on the shelves. The worst part was that I'm pretty sure that a girl I went out with like 4 years ago and never called back was a few people behind me in line. Ugh. Shoot me now.

I put all my stuff back on the shelf and walked out of the store. At that point I realized I had a $10 bill in my backpack. So I walked back in and bought a frozen pizza for dinner. The whole episode reminded me of Oregon Trail when you would shoot 5 buffaloes but could only carry 2 lbs of meat back. That pizza may as well have been squirrel.

Moral of the story? Call people back and bring your wallet.