The Tale of the Ironic Mustache

After about 2.5 weeks of not shaving, I'm proud to say that I finally grew a beard. It's not like I was Grizzly Adams or anything, but it was mine and it was cool. Anyway, it was itchy and of the patchy, Sidney Crosby variety, so it was time to shave it. Before I finished shaving I thought it would be fun to see what I looked like with a mustache. It didn't look half bad. It wasn't serious or anything, but it had a certain 70's cop/porn star look about it. I left it to see what my friends/coworkers would think.

Before I get too far, I'd just like to point out that I'm not opposed to mustaches. It's that few people can sport them and still look respectable. Like the people below.

So if you're not Tom Sellek or my dad, please be careful with that facial hair...

So anyway, back to me. Not that I'm a rah rah, look at me type of person, but I was at least expecting people to notice it and/or have a good laugh about it. When I walked in, I got nothing. No comments, no laughs, nothing. Just weird looks. I felt people looked at me and thought "sh*t, does he really have a mustache? That looks horrible. I hope he's not serious. You know what, I'm just gonna give him a weird look and not say anything about it. Yep... situation avoided"

Even one of my good friends (Prudence Bonds, thats right I called you out!) in the office didn't notice it. I had to tell her that the thing different about me was the mustache. She then asked if I grew it over night (like that's even possible. I'm not Indian). She also completely missed the fact that I had a beard previously... sigh...

For the record, I'm clean shaven today.

My Face Hurts...

I got tripped playing soccer on Sunday afternoon. A teammate passed the ball in front of me, so it was just me and the goalie. He came charging out at me, so I kicked the ball past him. He slid and I tried to jump over him but he clipped my feet and sent me tumbling to the ground. I face planted right into the turf. It was no frozen tundra but it hurt. The goalie got a yellow card. The diagram below illustrates what happened. Note that I'm wearing the cape only to show who the hero is. I usually do not wear one in public.

My face was rug burned and cut up yesterday and now today it has really swelled up on the left side. I pretty much anticipated having to explain what happened to coworkers today. I hate having to explain it every 10 minutes. Its the same story all day.

What I think is even worse though is the people that don't ask a thing. They talk to me and they just stare with that "D**n! WTF happened to your face!?!?" look, but ask nothing. I wonder what their theories are.

The worst part about it is that now I can't shave. The "rug burn" and soreness are all over the left side of my face and in the facial hair. I'm gonna be Grizzly Adams by the end of the week.